But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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