Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize