Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
