Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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