just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
