did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
