Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
