You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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