i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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