they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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