He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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