He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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