After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
