I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
