living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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