She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
