Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
