Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
