Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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