did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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