you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
