but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
