he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
