Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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