so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
