This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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