is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
