my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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