Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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