he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
handjob tips. give me some.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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