So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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