I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
