I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Actions speak louder than pants.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
