YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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