my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
