they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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