Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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