Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
