your thong is hanging out like whoa
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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