How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
