Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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