How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
