Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
