he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
