I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Oh god it's open bar.
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