Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
