I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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