just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
