i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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