I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
