eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
