I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize