girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
