She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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