I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
