eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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