Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
