doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
