Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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