No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
