I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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