imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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