Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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